bizarroMUSIC: Chuck Mosely

Thursday, October 30th, 2014

what ever happened to

Chuck Mosely?



Chuck Mosley, much maligned first singer out of Faith No More – from his 2009 solo album Will Rap Over Hard Rock for Food (great title)


…interesting stuff, nothing earth-shattering, but it’s comforting to know he’s still around – he has his fans – I for one enjoy his nasally punk-grunt, but compared to Mike Patton, he was a bit rubbish, kinda Johnny Rotten to Patton’s Pavarotti.

Chuck Mosely, he’s here…


Now you know…

bizarroMUSIC: “Give Me Back The Nights”

Thursday, October 23rd, 2014

…another weird tale of a great Ungoogleable.


Been listening to DJ Shadow “The Less You Know, The Better” album this morning and one song still gets me every time:

the song (and original poem) is one of most soul-destroying pieces of art ever created

…I just want to chew my wrists off every time I hear it, yet it has such a beautiful tone to it and the story of its origin is full of mystery and bizarreness.

the sample on this DJ Shadow track is from a crate-dig discovery by Shadow of some obscure spoken word/poetry vanity print record.


the poet’s name is CE Rabinowitz…and that’s all the world knows about him.

WHO IS HE? WHERE IS HE NOW? …and indeed, what the hell was going on in his life and his mind when he wrote and recorded the poem? If you’re reading this and have something to offer that might solve the mystery, let me know. 

” When I finally got a hold of the guy he basically said that he took most of the records to the dump. He kind of renounced it, it was a moment in his life that he was ambivalent about….(it’s) just someone documenting a moment of pain in his life in the most unobtrusive and un-obstructive way that he could.”
DJ Shadow to okayplayer

bizarroMUSIC: Do Your Thing / ISAAC HAYES

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014





Say what you will about Uncle Ike, with his Scientology and penchant for gold chains and dodgy bodyguards, but Black Moses never ever compromised his ‘thing’.


This track, from the original Shaft soundtrack, is a great spacey, no-surrender, no-shit-taken specimen of this ethos.




“I want to create a twenty minute funk jam that transverses time, space and touches the face of God. I want horns – lots of them – I want drums that leave no silences untouched, I want a bass player who think he’s playing a completely different song altogether and finally, I want it all lathered over with the most obnoxious, most spaced-out, most proto-art-p(f)unk guitar solo ever created by man (the Bar-Kays’ Michael Toles – Please find for yourself the 6minute9second mark and ask yourself ‘what the fuck is that unearthly noise and why does it make me want to believe in music again?’)


…And then I am going to put it on an album and sell it to Hollywood and they’re going to give me an Oscar because they’re dancing so much they don’t realise I’m the goddamn freaking Beethoven of funk…”

(*not actual Isaac Hayes quote)


Like a burning bush, Do Your Thing makes me want to be a better person, makes me want to cry, laugh, throw up and throw middle fingers and sarcastic thumbs up to a cruel, cold, dumb, unappreciative world and say no fuckin’ compromise, you sons of bitches, no surrender, no frikkin’ deal, world.


Do Your Thing makes me want to do my thing…



…but listen to the ‘song’, maybe you might understand much better than I can describe here.

bizarroMUSIC: MINAJ – a word from Tipper Gore Jr.

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014



These are the actual ‘lyrics’ to a ‘song’ by someone called Nicki Minaj – minge? mirage? something…


now, I am all for the repetitive banalities of pop music lyrics, I enjoy a little ‘she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah’ and ‘da-doo-doo-da-da-doo-doo-de, etc.’ ‘baby, baby, ad nauseum’ I understand this is what makes pop music ‘pop’ as it were, what makes it sell, and what makes us brainless clones gurgle it quietly to ourselves while sitting in traffic (on a side note: “EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!!”)…


..and I am a big fan of profanity in music – Rage Against The Machine’s Killing in the Name is one of my all-time favourite songs and that’s got enough ‘friks’ ‘frigs’ and ‘fffffade aways’ in it to send anyone’s granny to the emergency room, now matter what she got up to in the sixties. I get it, swearing is the ultimate act of rebellion, the one thing we do to get attention for ourselves. Cavemen grunted profanely enough to get kicked out of the cave and evolve in some way, the Romans liked to chisel whatever the Latin words for ‘fuck’, ‘bum’ and ‘poppycock’ onto public buildings to make themselves heard…I get it, swearing is cool, I do it, we all do it.


and above all, I love sex in music – it is the perfect medium for the low down dirty-nass of it all – doesn’t work so well in literature and visually in photography or film, surprisingly, there is nothing left to the imagination, but music is sex’s ultimate art form : billions of songs are created with one express purpose – to get you laid. And whether it’s a Beethoven harpsichord solo to get the salons a-rocking or Serge Gainsbourg’s Gitane-stained grandpa-grunting or Robert Plant having his lemon squeezed (tequila optional) until the juice…well, you get the picture, SEX is the life-force of popular music. I get it.


but this…this has got to stop.


signed: Tipper Gore Jr


bizarroVIGNETTE: Holden Caulfield

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

*A 1000 word oration written for a 13 year old girl…(don’t ask.)


Holden Caulfield

and the Art of Growing Up


“I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff!

I have to catch everybody if they start to go off the cliff…

they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going.

I have to come out of somewhere and catch them. That’s all I do all day.”



Image courtesy of


This pivotal quote is from JD Salinger’s Catcher In The Rye.


Even if you’ve never read the book, or you have and didn’t enjoy it for whatever reason, everything you need to take away from it, the underlying message and, in particular, the story’s precocious teenage protagonist Holden Caulfield, is contained in this single extract.


It not only gives the book its title and moral, it represents that eternal struggle each and everyone of us have had, or are having or will have: the battle between wanting to grow up and stay a child as long as possible.


A bit of background to this extract, which occurs towards the finale of the story:




Holden is this terribly arrogant, but poignant, yet also deeply unreliable narrator. He’s just described, throughout the book, his misadventures in the big bad city with various nefarious elements and illicit sidetracks and some dangerous close calls.


In between it all, he offers some of his life philosophy, which, essentially boiled down, is this idea that the world is a cold, hard place, that people (adults) – for lack of better word – just suck, and the only redeeming feature humankind has are its children and their innocence.


I’ll get back to Holden in a moment. But I want to talk about that often treacherous journey between being a kid and becoming an adult.


We’ve all been there haven’t we? As a teenager myself I often wonder what it would be like to do and say as I please, as I presume most adults are free to do – which all the grown-ups I know seem to tell me is absolutely not true.


But that’s what drives me – and every other teenager- forward: the promise of maturity, the ability to one day be a grown-up and make my own decisions, be they what time I can go to bed, what I can and cannot eat and, ultimately, what to believe and not to believe.


Yet at the same time, I think, I don’t really want to grow up yet. I like not having to worry about paying rent, holding down a job or being filled with regret and doubt.


Yet, still, I can’t wait long enough to be out there, free and on my own power. It keeps me up at night sometimes, that fearful unknown that still holds so much excitement.


It’s really is hard being a kid sometimes, with grand dreams of being an adult, yet still wanting remain a child.





Bill Watterson, the genius behind the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, summed it up quite nicely, naturally through the voice of his precocious creations:

“You know what’s weird about growing up? Day by day nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything’s different.”


Life moves so quickly that we’re so busy growing up, we forget to enjoy it. Maturity is not a destination, it’s a journey. In this fast paced world today, we move too fast to have time to admire the view. Kids should be encouraged to do look out the window more regularly.


Holden Caulfield realised it, and thought he could do something about it, if not for himself, then for others.


Caulfield realises that children are so busy being pure clean slates to be bothered with the intricacies of this cruel world, that they choose to rather live an existence that is simple and innocent.


By the end of his tale, and in this famous Catcher quote, he takes it upon himself to dedicate himself in whatever metaphorical way, to being a protector of this innocence.


He wants to be the catcher of children before they fall into the vast darkness of the outside world.


All parents should be able to identify with that: the need to protect, not only physically, but spiritually as well, that beautiful experience of being young.


This ideal is significant enough on its own, I dare say that most people would like to think of themselves as saviours of innocence, yet what makes Holden Caulfield even more impressive but ultimately more tragic, is that he starts out as one heck of an old soul: a cynical, self-absorbed and thoroughly unlikable soul – a typical teenager, if you will.


His final step away from this dark philosophy is the realisation that we’re all better off staving off adulthood as long as we can, yet he also realises he’s lost so much of his own youth in finding this out. Youth wasted on the young, as George Bernard Shaw would have it.


Childhood is not a race, it is a journey. There are bumps along the way, a couple of detours and more than a few unscheduled stops at important and beautiful places where we should all be encouraged to take as many selfies as we can.


JM Barrie, the creator of the classic Boy Who Never Grows Up Peter Pan himself – summed up the eternal struggle between being a child and having to be an adult rather aptly with this beautifully simple idea:

“if growing up means it is beneath my dignity to climb a tree,

then I never want to grow up.”


I thank you.




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